When you woke up, you ran and dressed yourself. Today’s outfit was an interesting mix of Halloween shirt and tennis shorts & I love how happy you were about it.
After school, you & Ms. Sandy practiced writing and did some fun crafts. Daddy beat me home by a few minutes & when I pulled up to the driveway, Ms. Sandy was getting ready to leave & you were in Daddy’s car getting ready to go get a carwash. You asked me to come so I parked and jumped in his car. We went to the carwash and then went to Gecko’s for dinner.
When we got home, we played for a little bit then it was time to head to bed. We read some Seuss books and then turned off the light to go to sleep. You were super squirmy and kept getting out of bed to go pee (more stall tactics!). At first I was just trying to rub your legs and back to get you to calm down. Then I got up to just leave and of course you grabbed me and said Mama, don’t go. You plopped back down on your pillow and slammed your eyes closed. But a minute later you were back to squirming. I did leave and come back a couple of times. Then, I just went to the living room and didn’t come back for about 10 minutes. When I came back you promised to lay down and of course didn’t. It got a little heated, you were getting mouthy and I left again. You would come in the hallway, apologize and ask me to come back saying “I’m ready now Mama.” I will always come back and never leave you but man I was super frustrated. I was sitting in the rocking chair and you were laying in your bed. You looked up at me and said “Mama, I love to snuggle with you, will you please come lay with me?” At first I said no, because I was trying to give you a consequence for talking back. But I was conflicted inside, because I also want you to know, in your core, that no matter what happens, I will ALWAYS be by your side. Instantly, I felt a wave of emotion come over me. I saw your eyes starting to flutter as you were about to drift off to sleep. I went and curled up next to you in bed. You opened your eyes, looked directly into mine and said “Mama, why did you come lay with me?” I said, “because I love you and will always be there when you want me.” You smiled a loving heart warming smile, closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep. It was 11:15p before you finally fell asleep. I was exhausted from 3 hours of battle. I sometimes get caught up in what I need to do after you go to sleep and to be honest, when I do that, I get more frustrated when you don’t go to sleep. I try not to let that happen and I always regret when I do – I know that my days are numbered and soon you won’t NEED me and at some point you won’t want me to help you fall asleep. Tonight, after I calmed down, I felt grateful…Grateful I can comfort you. Grateful you are still little (because you are growing so damn fast). Grateful to be what you want and need. I absolutely adore you!!!
I love you so much!
