Tomorrow has come. You’re starting Kindergarten. Everyone has joked with me because it took us so long to finally choose your school. Everything up to now was easy in comparison. The moment we walked in to Meet the Teacher, I felt so much better. But I cried the second we walked in the classroom and I couldn’t stop. Not because I’m afraid to leave you – your school looks like a learning utopia and Ms. Wolleon is warm and very visibly caring, but it’s bittersweet to know that your preschool years have come to a close and I am keenly aware that these elementary years are going to pass with lightning speed that the little girl you were is stepping back to make way for the big girl you are preparing to become. I have failed miserably to find the pause button, despite valiant efforts! You even said to me just the other day “Mom, do you know when you’re really going to cry? On Tuesday, when I go to Kindergarten.” Yes, Giovanna I will, but I assure you I am proud of you and excited to see what is to come, and that excitement is pushing out the bittersweet sadness. Please don’t ever mistake my tears for sorrow or take them as a bad thing. They are just evidence of the strength of my love and emotions for you. I’ve enjoyed watching you grow and learn and it is of course very exciting to see what your next chapter will bring. There is already so much you can do without me now. You want to do it by yourself. For everything you learn to do on your own, there is one less thing you need me for. That’s my job and I couldn’t be more proud of you for that, but it still stings. My heart soars when I think of all the wonderful opportunities ahead of you! As I begin to let you go, part of me will always hold on tight! I will always be there for you, I will never give up on you, I always love you unconditionally, I will always support and encourage you and remind you that you are a wonderful girl.
The beginning of your elementary school journey means that we’ve got 13 years left together under the same roof. I haven’t stopped crying since before Pre-K graduation, I can’t begin to fathom high school graduation yet, so please bear with me. Kindergarten may feel like a big jump, for both you and me. But I know you’re ready. I mean, let’s be honest, you were born ready. You have never walked in a room and not made a friend. It doesn’t faze you to be somewhere new – in fact you thrive on new situations and new people. You have been waiting for this day for years. I may not be ready, but you are!
Right now, your confidence is something to envy. You do what women have been trying to do for decades—be unapologetically you. Recently, I was “warned” that you don’t really care what others think, instead of finding that to be a drawback, I commented that we spend a ton of time and effort begging teenagers and young women to be confident and not worry about what others think. You are ahead of your time, once again!
You listen to the voice within yourself and follow that. You don’t care what you look like or what you wear. Sometimes you want to match, sometimes you prefer to mix-match. You’re brave, downright fearless. You try new things, talk to new people (ALWAYS have), and live every minute of your life daringly. I hope that you continue to do all of this and more. You are so strong, beautiful, unique, personable, kind and fiercely independent. Sometimes that makes my job tough, but I know this perfect recipe that you are made of will make you unstoppable when you are 25. I just hope I survive to see it!
Something happens to little girls once they start school. Sometimes society wants them to be quiet, act like a lady, and be meek. NOT YOU! I hope as you begin your journey that you continue to listen to that loud voice within you. We all hear that voice on the outside! But it’s going to be harder the older you get. The outside world will get louder. You’ll feel the pressure to act a certain way, look a certain way, and follow the loudest, the prettiest, the coolest (I know, I can’t imagine that not being you anyway ?). I hope that you are still at the front of your own one-person parade. I hope you maintain the strength that you have today to only look within yourself for the answer—never behind you and never ahead of you.
You can grow into an honorable woman and will accomplish amazing things by trusting yourself and not sitting quietly. You don’t have to sit back and let the boys answer all the questions the teachers ask. Raise that hand of yours. Answer the questions. You might be wrong at times—but never stop raising your hand. You already know so much, about people, about the world, about yourself and the sky is the limit of what you can learn. Continue to love what interests you and know that being smart is beautiful.
Accept faults and failing because it’s just part of the game. Just know that the real test will come when it’s time for you to get back up. When you take a bite out of humble pie, but then shoot your hand back in the air after being wrong. When you study harder for the next test. I hope you believe you can attempt anything, but that you aren’t devastated when you fails? I hope you understand that you WILL fail and you SHOULD fail? Most importantly, you need to know I love you and will always love you even when you do fail. I hope you know you can tell me anything. I hope I did enough to prepare you for this next big step.
Most importantly, Giovanna, I hope you continue to let compassion burn within you so brightly that everyone can see & feel it. I hope that when you see a kid sitting alone in the cafeteria or on the playground, that you not only sit or play with them—but that you bring others with you. I hope you will be a fierce includer and that you call out the excluders in a loving way that changes their hearts, too. Remember, I always tell you that if someone is unkind to you, in return show them kindness, because they need it the most! Please don’t forget that!
Kindergarten is going to be so much fun! I would be naive to think that every day will be joyous and wonderful as I know there will be hard days for you. There will be days when you feel like nothing goes your way. Days where kids will be mean to you. Days where you might be the one making bad choices. Times when learning is unfamiliar and challenging, but you will be ok. You will ALWAYS be ok. Know that I have been there, that I will listen, that I will support you and love you unconditionally. Know that even when you think I won’t understand, and there will be things I won’t understand, I will stand fiercely by your side.
My hopes and dreams for you as you embark on your school journey go far beyond the classroom. It’s in the building of relationships where your heart will continue to grow, and hopefully encourage the hearts of others to grow, too. Don’t be afraid to make new friends. Walk up and say hello. You never know if in that moment you will be meeting the greatest friend you will ever know.
I hope that you find someone that loves glitter as much as you do. I also hope you find someone that you have nothing in common with other than being five and strike up a conversation. I hope that you have deep belly laughs at least once a day, every day at school. And if you laugh so hard that you need a change of clothes, I snuck them in the bottom of your backpack already. I hope you find your passion, whether it is in sports, music, language, technology, or something that doesn’t even exist today. Giovanna, I have so many dreams for you as you kick off your big kid years.
I want you to run into that classroom and feel the opportunity that exists between those walls, in those books, through those friends. You might not feel it right away, and that’s hard for me. Because I won’t be there to hold your hand when you’re feeling a little bit insecure, reminding you of your strengths and the happiness that exists around you. But I’m here in a different way. Thinking of you at home. Looking forward to your stories. Knowing that we’re both stretching and growing together. This year, I want something to be hard for you as we grow the most during challenges. I hope that when you come up to something hard that you will not only rely on your tenacity (which abounds), but that you will lean on your teacher, your friends, and Daddy and me as learning to ask for and accept help is an essential part of life.
Kindergarten is just the beginning. But if you continue to live your life as you’ve done your first five years, you’ll be just fine. I know they won’t be easy, but I will cherish these next 13 years together with you. Because I know that they won’t last forever. I hope you never forget how beautiful you are and that beauty has nothing to do with your hair or your wardrobe. I hope you never fail to look around you and see those alongside you and those behind you, not just those ahead of you. How you treat others, and yourself, is far more important than any grades or accolades. I hope that you never forget that you are loved – not because of the things you do but because of who you are.
Be kind and work hard…everything else will sort itself out.
You inspire me, my girl. Now, go inspire the world.
I will be cheering you on every step of the way!
I love you so much,
Love Mama