Dear Giovanna,
How are we here again so soon? Another year gone in the blink of an eye, just twelve short months since I sat here writing to you on your fifth birthday. Five seemed old, but moving on to two hands to show your age seems impossible. You’ve been counting down the days with excitement and have been looking so forward to your Beach Bash Birthday party! Although I know all you want to do is be a teenager and grow up, I just want to keep you this age forever. It’s just perfect that way it is. PLEASE don’t grow up on me!!!! But no matter how old you are, know that you will always be my baby.
As I sit here and write this, my heart wants to jump out of my throat at the disbelief that you are turning six. SIX! How did this happen? Why does childhood go so fast? How will you be going to First Grade next year?! I believe with all of my heart that the second half of my life began the day you were born. I didn’t stop being Jo Ann, but adding the role of being your Mom to my world is a gift I wouldn’t change for anything. Being the example you need in the world and embracing you as one of my greatest teachers is a role I treasure. I constantly go between wanting you to stay my baby forever and being excited about all the amazing things you are about to do in your life. You are a beautiful tribute to the pure joy and innocence that childhood should be. You bring tears to my eyes, “sweet tears” as you always call them. I look at you everyday and 6 years in I still can’t believe I get to be your Mom! As proud as I am that you have grown so beautifully, I can’t help but swallow the lump in my throat that you will never again be five. I am overcome with the feeling that this is the end of you being little. Turning six, preparing for Kindergarten Graduation…it just feels like time is speeding up, despite my valiant efforts to find a pause button and freeze you right here.
But alas, you continue to change, to grow, to learn, to explore and experience new things. Even your smile has changed – you are missing your 4 front teeth which looks adorable on you instead of the awkward it looked on me (and the rest of the world)! You bring us joy every single day. Your smile is pure sunshine, your giggles are joyful beyond belief, and your nature so kind and loving. You have taught me to do my best to be a living example for you. I want you to grow up knowing it is possible to have a career you love and a family you prioritize. I want you to see me as a mother who adores her child and who never stopped aiming to be ‘who she wanted to be when she grew up’. I want you to have the entire world, but I want you to work hard to earn it. I want you to remember that whoever you choose to be, whatever path you follow in life, it is yours. You are not me, your dad, your family or your friends. While we will always be here as a sounding board and we (especially before you are an adult) will guide you and offer advice, we love that you are uniquely you. You have your own opinions, interests and heart. Follow them. You have taught me how important it is that I aim to show you what happy looks like – on most days. As long as you are happy, that’s the only wish I could ever hope for you.
I know I say this every year, but this year REALLY is the best! I always tell you “my job is to keep you safe. Your job is to learn and grow!” You have done your jobs remarkably well this year. Your Pre-K Graduation was the first of many times you will walk a stage in a cap and gown. It was bittersweet and simultaneously we were so proud and excited for you! You confidently walked into the doors of Kindergarten and absolutely exploded academically. Your connection with Ms. Wolleon was so strong and authentic and it was exactly what I dreamed your Kindergarten year would look like. I hope you maintain the love of learning you have right now. This year you blew through test after test on your sight words, bringing home a 100% more times than I can count. I almost ran out of money just buying ice cream to celebrate each time! You were finished with the Kindergarten list half way through the year! You are reading independently so well that now you prefer to read to me, rather than me reading to you! I’m keenly aware this is one of the first of many ways things will change as you become even more fiercely independent each day! You love math, science and pretty much every subject except PE! Those two running laps just wear your legs out!!! You love to have me come for lunch, which I try to do about once a week. Yesterday, all the Kindergarten classes were in the cafeteria practicing the graduation songs and I was peeking through the door unsuccessfully fighting back tears. I can’t believe there are only 5 more Mondays of Kindergarten. Its clear that you are a little less little and it stings. In fact, turning 6 feels like the end of being little and the beginning of being big.
As the school year comes to a close and you prepare to move up to First Grade, I know you will begin to compare yourself to what others around you are doing, are allowed to do or what choices they make. Now you ask me. You want to know what I think or how I feel. Most importanlty you want to know why… Why we don’t eat this or why we don’t talk to ourselves like that. I love, adore, and treasure the relationship you and I have now. I’m incredibly grateful for the gift of your confidence and while I hope you will long trust me as someone you can continue to confide in, I am aware there may be a day you will not agree with my decisions as your Mom. I want you to always remember that Daddy and I won’t make decisions based on what is popular, or what ‘everyone else is doing’, but rather based on what we believe is best for YOU. We love you, and sometimes, it is hard to be loved.
The passion you have developed for understanding how the human body works is remarkable. You were already very interested, then when you swallowed a quarter and had to have your own X-Ray for the first time, that interest went through the roof! Now, you tell the provider at your appointments all about the digestive system and the order that each organ is in – they are stunned by your accuracy! I hope that you continue to honor your body and make sure you take care of yourself because you are in tune with how foods and things make your body feel. Please always make taking care of yourself a priority. You have always been inquisitive, but as you are growing and learning more about the world, you have had more questions. Keep asking them Giovanna. Keep challenging when you don’t like what you hear (except when I’m talking lol). Keep pushing for the answers. Make the adults around you think about the things that are important to you. Your heart, your opinions and your voice matter. You matter. Never ever lose sight of that.
You have a thirst for new experiences. Thank you for pushing me to do something so different this year. You begged to see snow in real life, so we went to Park City for your first spring break. I have been dodging snow for almost 20 years but you, as always, show me familiar things from your lens and you open my eyes! From the second you woke up in that winter wonderland, you curiously explored every experience possible. You ran in the snow in just a nightgown with the purest look of joy on your face! You went sledding, tubing, dog sledding and skiing and loved every minute. The ski instructor said she never would have guessed this was your first time on skis. Like most new experiences, you faced it with excitement and courage, even if you are a little unsure of yourself. I admire your confidence, and am on high alert to help you protect and maintain it as you embark on your school journey and will question that confidence from time to time.
We broke ground on our forever home this year. You have been involved every step of the way, from helping Ms. Marcela choose furniture and fabrics to choosing your room decor and theme, to leading people around giving them a tour explaining what each room will become. You have left your footprints, literally and figuratively, in some really cool ways. Literally, your hand and foot prints are on the garage floor. We designed the entire house with you in mind. I can’t wait to watch you grow up in this home and make a lifetime of memories to cherish! I hope you always want to bring your friends to our house and I will gladly host. Secretly I’m hoping it’s so cool you never want to leave!!! lol!
You still love animals, real and stuffed. This year, your dream came true when Santa delivered Hank to you in our house. Not sure what Santa will have up his sleeve this year – certainly nothing else that is alive!!! You stop in your tracks to pet every dog we walk by and despite my allergy, you beg for a cat. Sorry!
You love the beach and frequently ask to have dinner while watching the sunset. Your favorite place on earth right now is the condo. You love hanging at the beach, swimming in the pool, playing in the sand and watching the sunsets from the balcony or the beach. I hope you maintain that love for the outdoors and use it to help remain rooted and grounded throughout your life.
You love fancy twirly dresses with sequins and sparkles, but you also love to be low key and have “home days” where you don’t even get dressed. You love to have your nail polish match mine and love to chase lizards and play in the dirt. The other day, when we were riding in Daddy’s car (you always aske me to sit in the back seat with you) I caught a glimpse of you, with your legs daintily crossed, singing a song, staring out the window. You caught me looking at you and said “Mommy….what?!?!” I just want to freeze you in this moment. You are perfect. This age is perfect. You have made our lives perfect and I’m in awe of you. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to help you learn and grow. But I promise, you are teaching me far more than I could ever teach you. I’m proud of you. I’m in awe of you. I admire you. I respect you. I love you without condition and I swear to you that will NEVER change. When you were tiny, I was in awe of your tiny hand as I held it in mine. As you close this chapter on being little, I know I won’t always be able to hold your hand, but I will ALWAYS be on your team. I won’t always have all the answers, we may not always agree, but I promise you can count on me to be standing at your shoulder, supporting you. Cheering for you from the rooftop.
Thank you for holding my hand as we navigate this mother-daughter journey together. Thank you for allowing me grace when I make mistakes, for teaching me the true definition of patience, for guiding me through motherhood and being part of the heartbeat of our family.
Happy Birthday My Dear Sweet Six Year Old Beauty.
I love you so much!