4/11/23 –

Sadly, the day we have been dreading for months has come. We had to help Harold cross the rainbow bridge. You were so good about it. We met Aunt Deb and Fed at Dr. Tudin’s office. We all loved on Harold and told him goodbye. You wanted to stay in the room, but Dr. Tudin asked everyone to leave. I stayed with him and you went out with Daddy & Aunt Deb. When I came out you asked me to explain what happened, so I did. We sat in the parking lot for about 30 minutes or so and you kept asking to go inside to see Harold. We didn’t although I thought it might help you to see how incredibly peaceful he looked. In fact, he hadn’t looked that peaceful even sleeping in his dog bed for some time. It was actually beautiful to see. I let you ride in Fed’s car and we went to Starbucks to all regroup a little bit. You guys had pink drinks and played Pokemon on Fed’s phone.

We left after about an hour to head to your class field trip at Mote Marine. I was chaperoning. I asked you before going if you still wanted to go and you said yes. I was hoping it would take your mind off of what happened. At first, it was great. You were telling all the kids “my dog Harold had a tumor. It was cancer so he had to go to the rainbow bridge.” All the kids were so kind and supportive to you. One girl told you “my dog Max died. Whenever I feel scared or nervous, I just believe in myself and say I will do this for Max.” It absolutely melted my heart. Unfortunately, when we broke for lunch you became really sad and started to fall apart. You wanted to be alone and sat by yourself, even laying down in the grass. My heart was breaking. I felt like I had made a mistake even bringing you to the field trip at all. Ms. Marchese saw you were struggling and told me we could leave so we did. I offered to stop at Kilwin’s on the way home but you said “believe it or not, I don’t even want ice cream.” As we drove by, you said “but I will take Meanie’s mini-donuts!” I had already driven by and you said “that’s ok we are already passed it.” I wasn’t letting that stop us. I found a parking spot and backed up to take it before it was too late. Unfortunately, you only ate one donut. It was just so sad and heavy. I asked if you wanted to stop at the beach or bay front, but you just wanted to go home, so we did. When we got home, I asked if you wanted to get in the pool or hottub or snuggle on the couch. You just wanted to get in my bed and snuggle so we did. We snuggled for about 90 minutes then we got up and went to Whole Foods. You asked for every kind of gummy candy you could find and of course I said yes. You even asked me “are you just saying yes because I lost my dog?” I said absolutely! I would have done anything to ease your pain at all.

We went home to have dinner and snuggle. It was a terribly difficult day but Harold was ready. He was tired. And he was such a sweet boy that I’m happy he’s not in pain.

I love you so much.